Expectation

I have been “expecting” for approximately nine months now, and yet, somehow, in the last few weeks of pregnancy, the word takes on a whole new meaning. There is just over one week until the official due date of our little one, and knowing that the baby could – quite literally – be born any day – is a strange thought. Combine that with the thought that it could – quite literally – be almost another month until he/she decides to show up (it is, after all, Rod and my progeny – what chance does it have of being on time?). I am (and by extension, Rod is, too) living on pins and needles. I am hyper-aware of my body and all that it is doing – anything that may give me a clue as to when to “expect” this miracle inside me to come into the world. We are eager to meet our little one.
We are expecting - looking forward to, eager, anticipating– and yet uncertain. Anticipating the “when”... Should I settle in for a long haul, or quickly finish up what “needs” to be done? Anticipating the “what”... Will it be a boy or girl? Will it be healthy? Anticipating the “who”... Who will our child be and become? What sort of personality, gifts, humour, etc will the combination of the two of us produce? Anticipating the “how”... How will we care for and raise this little one who is so utterly dependent on two people (who themselves are so inexperienced and unsure?) It is a time of expectation that is filled with hazy ideas and constant, vague questions.