Part Three

Which brings us a little more to the "now"....
Since well before N was born, I have been struggling with the question of “do I go back to work?” It has been a very difficult question, for many reasons.
I do need to note, though, that I am very, very thankful that I even have the freedom, flexibility, and ability to even ask that question. It is not something that should be taken for granted.
I have talked about the idea of being a "working mom" with many women whom I deeply respect. Every mother said that the years went by too quickly. Some made the commitment to stay home; others made the commitment to return to (paid) work.

Do I go back to work? I love caring for my most precious possessions. I love being a mummy; I love watching my children grow and learn and develop. Why would I spend my days with a classroom of thirty other children? The busyness of teaching, of last minute phone calls, of dealing with certain classroom behaviours was hard with one child – how would it be with two? Add to that the fact that Rod – and life in general - is even busier than last year. Do I really have time to do it all: to be a wife, a mother, a friend, a church member, a teacher, to care about the food I eat and feed my family, to do laundry, buy groceries, clean the house…There is really only so much that one person can do.

Do I stay home with my two beautiful children? I worked hard for many years to become a teacher. It was a miracle that I have a position in the board and have a job. It was a miracle and an honour that I was given an LTO. It was a miracle that I had so many days of work. There were classes and students that I thoroughly enjoyed. Do I “throw” all of that away?

I truly enjoy being a teacher; in many ways it is a life dream fulfilled. True, supply teaching is different than "regular classroom" teaching, and with that comes certain benefits and certain drawbacks. As a supply, there is very little preparation time; lesson plans have usually been done for me, and there is very little take-home work. Report cards, meetings, classroom set-up, and establishing routines are not expected of me. And yet....I was young(er) once, too....I think we can all agree that we don't use our best behaviour for when the supply comes 'round. My days of "teaching" were often babysitting....barely. They were often completely exhausting days of doing all I could to maintain order....let alone teach. There were some days that I thought that *no* amount of money was enough for what I did. Alternately, there were days when I literally could not believe I was actually getting paid to do what I did.

In the midst of all of this self-questioning, a friend asked if I would be willing to let my name stand for becoming a board member on the city's Christian school. I was intrigued and very interested. In the end, because I wasn’t sure if I would go back to work, I said no – a very difficult decision. And yet, it reminded me of the fact that, as something I believe in, I can at least help and support Christian education. And so, shortly after, I brought in a few baked goods for an upcoming bake sale. I chatted with the secretary, who happens to go to our church, and she mentioned that I should apply for supply teaching there. And then, something triggered her memory… She quickly went to get the principal so that he could tell me a few more details. Within five minutes I had introduced myself to the principal and was sitting in his office, having an “interview” in my jeans and t-shirt, with two children and a loaf in tow.

And so….here I sit….overwhelmed again at how God’s hand has worked so many details, how He has worked another miracle. I am now the recipient of yet another “perfect” job for me - for our family, really - at this stage of our life. I am to work one morning every week in a grade 1 / 2 classroom, alongside a seasoned teacher. I have consistent hours, consistent students, and a staff who is more than encouraging and supportive. Sadly, this does mean that I will need to lay down my position with the public school board (for “busy” reasons, rather than “official” reasons). At this season of our life, it is a choice that is not too difficult to make. God has already opened so many doors over the past few years, in many ways it seems as if I just have to wait and see all the good things that He has in store for me (us.).