Today was Gideon's first day in daycare.
It was hard.
To get us more used to the idea, for the purpose of routine and becoming familiar with new people and surroundings, we decided to do a few half days before work actually began.
According to Miss Brenda - who is a true gem - she has never had such an amazing first day with someone. Her biggest challenge was keeping him safe from all the love-maulings of the other kids. Her daughter hoped that "maybe Gideon's mommy might forget about him and he could spend the night."
As for me....I am still getting used to the idea. The question of whether or not to go back to work is one that many must face, and I deeply respect both answers to the question. For us, the fact that I have a job to go back to is such a miracle; we don't feel as if it is something that can be tossed away. Of course, it is not without its emotional difficulties. I have been with Gideon, my thoughts have been consumed by Gideon, my actions have been motivated by Gideon for 9 plus 12 months. He has been my life. To "turn off" that part of me and appear professional - if only for a time - is a sad and difficult concept. And yet, I know it is good for him - to learn to play with others, to share, to know that he isn't the be all and end all, to learn that others can fix his problems - these are all important socialization and life skills. My head knows this; my heart struggles.
2 comments:
Becs,
When I married Daniel, the youngest of four kids, I think his mother was still struggling to come to grips with the fact that another woman would be able to care for, love, and nurture the son she spent 26 years doting on. I think a mother's heart will always struggle with raising children so well that they don't need us anymore...it really is a paradox of love. I got over it by thinking that at least I am not a bird and don't have to push my offspring out of a 20 foot nest just to hope that they will sprout wings before they plunge to the earth (that was strinkingly less profound and I am sure much less helpful to you than it has been in my head all this time). We will be praying for you three and thinking about you in the weeks ahead. It is interesting to think that some other mom might be having the same dilemna of love when she sends her little man off on the school bus to be taught by you.
That IS hard, and yes the question of whether or not to go back to work is one that there is no "right" answer to. I hope the adjustment goes well for all of you. The fact that your babysitter is a "true gem" as you say will make it infinitely easier.
For me, I wanted to go back to work when Owen was 9 months, and did, part-time, till Julianna was born. And now that there are two, and it is so busy living on a farm/acreage, I really really don't want to go back.
Congratulations on the teaching job! What grade are you teaching?
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