Any Takers?

I have a confession to make. I severely dislike cleaning ovens. Perhaps my confession should go deeper and I should admit the whole truth: I am not sure that I have ever actually cleaned an oven. However, I do severely dislike the thought of doing it: thus, I avoid it.
I am not sure where the dislike/avoidance came from. Perhaps it is from the time when my brother, trying to be funny, wrote my “I love you, Mom” on our front lawn with oven cleaner… and the reaction that ensued. Or perhaps it is the vision of my poor housemate, who had just been in a bad car accident, contorting her body in unnatural ways to clean the dorm oven for inspection...and the pain that ensued. Or perhaps it’s the picture of the burning/melting hand and the explosion on the container that scare me away....That could be *me!* Who knows. Maybe it’s just the idea that it could be a lot of *work*. And that is no fun.
As I said, I have, somehow - I am pretty sure - been able to avoid the chore. Thanks….whoever filled in for me. Special credit goes to Mama S., who cleaned our now-oven when we first moved in. That took guts. It really needed to be done a little bit later (“little bit” is a code word. I’m not going to tell you the actual time frame that it stands for.) By then I was pregnant with N., and the thought of using such harsh chemicals made me concerned, so I asked Rod to do it for me. He did (I think she was born by then)….but the point being that *he did.* I have a good man. And not just for his domesticity and servant heart.
But, this morning, I had another “episode”…the kind where the smoke alarm goes off. Not because what I was cooking was burning, but because what had spilled over (many, many cooking times ago) was burning. I smelled like burnt banana bread all morning. The house still stinks. So, with the kidlets still sleeping, and the fresh air from outside able to circulate through the house, I decided now might be time to clean the oven.
I had a question about the product, and I did a very noble thing: I called consumer care. A high, nasal-pitched, record-like sounding voice answered. “Good day, this is Shirley, how can I help you?” I explained my question, gave her the bar code numbers as well as the numbers on the bottom of the can and waited on hold for several minutes.
“Yes, hello,” came back the nasal-record voice of Shirley after several minutes. “We don’t make oven cleaner any more. That particular can of oven cleaner dates back to 1996. I am going to advise you to not use it."
Best domestic advice ever.
But my oven still stinks.