By Bec
I have been struggling a lot lately, mostly with issues of faith, or lack thereof. We are, as my mother-in-law jokingly points out, “displaced persons.” She has very graciously opened her home to us as a resting place for however long we need, and for that we are very, very thankful. And yet, the truth of the situation is that we have no home, we have no jobs, none of the other components that go with feeling settled, and to be quite honest, no idea where to start on finding them.
I know God will provide. If I look back on my life, on Rod’s life, on the lives of our parents, they are constant and ongoing testimonies of the faithfulness and provision of a caring Father. And yet, I struggle with taking that and living it, in living in confidence and without the fears and worries that, as a dear friend pointed out, are so crippling.
The same friend passed on this poem, and as much as it portrays the confidence in God that I desire to be the way in which I live my life, I am shamefully lacking.
First, He brought me here, it is by His will I am in this place: in this fact I will rest.
Next, he will keep me here in His love, and give me the grace to behave as His child.
Then, He will make the trial a blessing,
teaching me lessons He intends for me to learn,
and working in me the grace He means to bestow.
Last, in His good time, He can bring me out again--how and when, He knows.
(Andrew Murray)
3 comments:
Thanks for sharing your struggle. I'll be praying for you that God will give you strength and faith for this time in transition, and also that he will guide you in your search and provide jobs and a home at the right time. That poem really speaks to me as well in my present situation and encourages me to trust God's provision and guidance.
wow, that is quite the poem. I pray you are doing well bec. You have been in my thoughts a lot this week. I will continue to pray that you might have the faith to believe/remember that all things are in God's almighty hands - humble yourselves before him, and he WILL lift you up. Blessings always. You should come visit me sometime in Strathroy :). Love you!
Hey Bec (and Rod too)
Sounds like you have the post-Japan blues!
Sounds like you've been putting a lot of pressure on yourself - to be a 'certain way'. I gotta admit that I went through the same thing at one point on my life too. There comes a time when you just got to let it go. Whether it's into the hands of God or something else (whatever rocks your boat - as many have said before), there comes a time when you have to admit that life gets too big, and things always happen that are beyond our control.
Anyways - starting to ramble. You have my thoughts though - as many positive ones as I can summon.
And if you ever want to come back... ;-)
seeya
Mark
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